"Children's laughter in shelters during bombings saved us adults from stress"
«Children's laughter in the shelter during the bombing saved us, adults, from stress»
What doesn't break us makes us stronger. Ukrainians will live in their native land, in a peaceful country, and will be happy, says Inna from Chernihiv, a beneficiary of the project ”Recreation for Children Who Have Been Treated at Okhmatdyt" by Caritas-Spes Ukraine.
On the morning of July 8, 2024, during a massive rocket attack on Kyiv, Russian terrorists attacked one of the country's most famous children's hospitals, the Okhmatdyt hospital. As a result, the hospital's medical buildings were damaged, and many young patients found themselves in the open air – along with their life-supporting machines. In those days, thousands of concerned people immediately showed solidarity: they helped to clear the rubble, brought drinking water, baby food, medicines, hygiene products to the hospital, and transferred funds.
To support the children who were treated at Ohmatdyt 2024, Caritas-Spes Ukraine, with the financial support of Caritas Germany, is implementing a family rehabilitation project in the Caritas-Spes Yablunytsia Children's Village. As part of the project, children (accompanied by one of their parents or guardians) have free transportation to the vacation spot, two-week accommodation in the picturesque mountains, and meals; they can join excursions to interesting places, participate in master classes, group and individual sessions with a psychologist.
Ms. Inna is 34 years old. She and her five-year-old son came to Yablunytsia from Chernihiv. «From the heroic city of Chernihiv», the woman clarifies, smiling warmly. «Our city really deserves the title of Hero: it suffered from a brutal enemy siege and occupation, but still holds its own. My child and I did not leave the city during the war. In general, we had a lot of different things happen to us: I was expecting a child and gave birth during the covid epidemic, and then, masks and the virus were replaced by another devastating «infection»: the Russian military threat».
We are talking in the room where Inna is staying with her son on vacation. Pavlyk is in the playroom playing with his peers, and we have some time to talk and “catch up”. I immediately apologize to my interlocutor if this conversation brings back painful memories...
Ms. Inna, how do you remember the day the war started? What was happening to you, around you, what did you feel? And what gave you strength in those difficult moments?
On the morning of February 24, 2022, I woke up and saw many missed calls on my phone. Relatives and friends were calling to tell me that the war had started. The news on TV said that Russian tanks were breaking through to our city, and people were buying everything in stores and pharmacies. I took my little son in a stroller and also went to the center of Chernihiv. I bought some medicine and disposable diapers. I remember the huge queues, the bustle, the cluster of cars on the road. Everyone was running and driving somewhere... Panic. I did not panic. I knew I would stay in the city because I had no one to leave with. I am a single mom, raising my son alone. My ex-husband is a former military man. We maintain a relationship, but I am responsible and take care of the child.
As I found out later, there were many terrible, tragic incidents: leaving Chernihiv in those days was not easy and dangerous.
For the first month, my son and I were hiding from the shelling in the basement of the Roman Catholic church near our house. The priest of the church invited mothers and children from the neighboring houses to come and spend the night in the church's shelter. Sometimes volunteers would bring us canned food for the children: we, the mothers, were very happy about that. The child heard the explosions and was scared. “Mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm hungry.” And you realize that you have to create at least some normal conditions for the child, and on the other hand, you want someone to shelter and reassure you too.
But I have to say: the world is not without good people. Someone shared tea with us, someone supported us with a word. It was so unusual and important... And this is what gave strength to every minute.
There was no water in the city because the occupiers blew up the water utility. People were going to the river or to private sector pumping stations. It was dangerous, because Chernihiv was mercilessly shelled. And you stand in line to get water, and there are airplanes above... And you think: is this plane going to drop a bomb on you or fly on? It was scary. Once, I remember, I left my child at home for the only time and went to fetch water by myself. It seemed to me that an eternity had passed while I was standing in that line – and it lasted about 10 minutes. When that deadly machine is above you, you think: either I will die here, or the child will die there, without me... We stand with women, huddled together, scared. And I say to the women I don't know: «My name is Inna, I'm from such and such a street, my child is at this address. If something happens to me, find my son, don't leave him, I beg you». After collecting the water, I ran home so that all the water splashed out, leaving a little at the very bottom... After that incident, I never left my Pavlyk alone for so long. It was a lesson for me for the rest of my life. It seemed that I turned gray at one point.
I also remember how one night we were hiding in the basement together with strangers. At that time, the Russians were dropping 500-kilogram bombs on our neighborhood. The explosions were such that the buildings simply disintegrated, leaving deep craters in their place. Even underground, the echoes were so terrible that you could go crazy. Everyone fell silent at once... And then my Pavlyk started... laughing. With his childish laughter, he covered those terrible sounds of explosions. He did not understand what was happening, he was just having fun. And people began to smile and focus more on the child than on their fears. Children's laughter saved us adults from stress.
And to this day, when we walk around the city and meet people with whom we sat in the basement, we hear: “How is your Pavlyk?” "Oh, Pavlyk, you've grown so much! Do you laugh as well as you did then?"
The mutual revenue was enormous! We had electricity in the building, even though most of the people had lost power. I gave everyone who needed it the opportunity to come and charge their phones or power banks. Bread was brought in, and we had to stand in line to get it. Old ladies did not leave the house because they did not have the strength to do so. So you always go and take a loaf for yourself and your neighbors. Helping your neighbors is so natural.
It often happens: you're walking through the city with a stroller, a car stops next to you and a stranger gives you and your child something (food, water or diapers) and then drives away. He doesn't ask your name or who you are. I was amazed... Such moments brought us all very close. It is priceless. It will never be forgotten.
On March 5, 2022, I had a birthday: 30 years old. I thought: I want to go out and buy some sweets to treat the people in the shelter. I dreamed of finding candy or a cake in the store... I was walking down the street and got anxious! I ran to the underground passage. The russians were shelling Chernihiv with cluster bombs mercilessly. And it just so happened that in that underground passage I met the gynecologist who had been accompanying me during my pregnancy. We are standing together, holding hands, reassuring each other. I said: I am 30 years old today. And she replied: It is the best gift that you are alive now.
I have this touching memory of my anniversary: although I did not bring a cake, I saved myself from an enemy bomb. It was as if I was born a second time.
On July 8, 2024, russian aggressors shelled the Okhmatdyt hospital in Kyiv. You were there with Pavlyk that day. Can you share your memories of what happened?
The long stay in the cold basement affected the child's health. Pavlyk was often ill. While still in the shelters, he suffered from pneumonia and was coughing a lot. In February-March 2022, the hospitals in the city were open, but it was impossible to get there under fire. I treated my son myself, as best I could and with what I had.
In April, as soon as it became a little safer, I immediately went to the doctors with my child. Examinations, tests... They diagnosed a whole “bouquet” of ailments. My son had health problems from birth – low hemoglobin, digestive diseases. Adenoiditis “surfaced” on the surface. Otitis media bothered him. I thought: I need to consult with specialists in the capital. I planned a trip with my child to Okhmatdyt. But my son was often sick, so I kept postponing the visit.
So my friend offered: I'm going to Kyiv on business, and I can give you and Pavlyk a ride. We made an appointment with a specialist. On July 8, they were waiting for us at Okhmatdyt.
That day is still a blur to me. It was morning, we had just entered the department, sat in the corridor for 15 minutes, waiting for our turn. We left home on an empty stomach because we had to take special tests. The child was hungry, I was sleep deprived...
And the air raid alarm caught you right there, at the doctor's door?
Yes. You see... In Chernihiv, we have alarms all the time, we are used to living with them. We were less afraid, we just knew that we had to take cover when there was a threat of shelling. I thought: how could anything worse happen to us after what we experienced in 2022?
And here, in July 2024, we almost met with death... Air raid warnings sounded, people started to go down to the shelters, my son and I just went out into the corridor... All I remember is darkness. I think it was the blast wave that threw me under the wall, and I blacked out. I woke up – my son, thank God, was next to me. Destroyed windows, glass, people covered in blood... A man in a white coat came up and asked: “Are you all right?” They immediately took us to check for fractures. Fortunately, our arms and legs were intact, but we had a lot of bruises. Then we were helped out of the building, because the main exit was covered with rubble.
My friend could barely get through to me. Kyiv was hit hard by shelling that day, and she was worried that we couldn't communicate. Then she came, picked up my son and me, and we quickly went home. I remember how my friend's hands were shaking with excitement. Although she has a lot of experience behind the wheel, she took a wrong turn and was looking for a way out of Kyiv for a long time, panicking.
Pavlyk was silent at first. Then he started to speak and... began to stutter. I realized that we would need the help of a psychologist. Physically we survived, but morally we were very depressed. All the way home I prayed and thanked God: thank you for being alive.
In such situations, you realize that life is the greatest value. Since then, I have always tried to respond to alarms in our city. In kindergarten, Pavlyk now spends a lot of time in the shelter, sometimes the alarms last for 5 hours a day. Unfortunately, the basement has become his second home. I'm trying to find a job with flexible hours so that I can pick up my son from kindergarten so that he doesn't have to spend 5 hours a day in the basement.
When I think about it: he is so small, and I had to endure so much... This thought hurts me. But I know we have survived it. And everything that does not break us makes us stronger.
I do my best to make sure that my son understands what life is all about from an early age. I want him not to be afraid, but to know how to behave in difficult situations. I want him to grow up to be a real Cossack, to be ready for any challenge, not to lose heart and not to lose hope. To be even stronger than me. He should never give up.
What gives you strength today, Ms. Inna? What inspires you?
Nature saves me from despondency and fatigue. I get inspired by the beauty around me. When I learned about your project, I really wanted to come here. The Carpathians are the best medicine. Solitude, harmony, the sun, birds singing, the river... And I try to instill in my child the ability to find and appreciate joy in small things. Pavlo says: «Mom, have you noticed that there are no alarms here?» He reacts very sensitively to any loud sounds. After stress, he speaks poorly and stutters. He has anxiety: he often wakes up at night and does not sleep well. He was frightened by heavy shelling and had enuresis.
And then there are creative classes and lessons with a psychologist. And what about the excursions! It's a fairy tale! In our city, there are no water parks, zoos, or children's entertainment facilities. Pavlyk here, in the Carpathians, just came to life. Every day he makes me happy with joyful emotions. I am sure that the impressions of his vacation in Yablunytsia will stay with him forever.
Thanks to such good people as the Caritas, our faith and confidence are returning. Humanity is our common talisman. We were welcomed here like family. They brought us right off the train and put us up. They feed us deliciously and treat everyone well. It gives you strength and inspires you. And you also want to thank someone with kindness. Relatives may not always treat you the same way as strangers. The world is wide. Life teaches us lessons for a reason.
In the room where my son and I live, we have a window in the ceiling. I call it the window to the sky. And sometimes I look out in the evening and the sunlight falls from that window on my icons that I put on the table. And I think: there is light, and it will always be there. And there will be that window, and peace will come, and our children will grow up in a peaceful country. I believe in it. Ukrainians deserve a happy life in their native land!
