«I went to war to defend my homeland from the enemy. Now I live for my grandson...»
A veteran of the Russian-Ukrainian war talks about daily joys, difficulties and new meanings, and why the Kharkiv Family Support Centre has become a real hub of family warmth for Kharkiv residents.
Mr. Yevhen is 61 years old. Before the full-scale russian invasion, he lived in a village in the Kharkiv region, seven kilometres from the border. «In Kozachia, I had everything: a house, a bathhouse, and my own gazebo; I dug a pond and raised fish. I planted a vineyard and grew an orchard,» says the man.
«I kept chickens and ducks. I loved working the land. But then the occupiers came and “liberated” me from everything. They destroyed my house and ruined my entire farm».
... When loud explosions began and fires broke out on the border at 4 a.m. on 24 February 2022, Mr. Yevhen let his dog, frightened by the loud noises, out and went to the military registration office himself. He understood very well what was happening. «Since 2014, I had been in the territorial defence forces at the military registration and enlistment office, training and preparing to defend my land if necessary. And when the moment of truth came, I went to the front without hesitation. Even though I was 58 years old... From the first day of the war, I served as a driver-paramedic, defending Kharkiv, and then we were sent to defend Kyiv. I left the army because I had to take care of my child», recalls my interlocutor.
We are talking in Kharkiv, at the KSU Family Support Centre. A man brings his grandson Yevgenko here for classes. The boy is three and a half years old. «Was he named after you?» I ask. «Yes. We live together, I became his guardian because his parents refused...»
I can sense that this is a painful topic. But it is very important to him, and he wants to share it. When the war broke out, Mr. Yevhen's daughter-in-law was expecting her first child. «I'm at war, my son and his wife are in Kharkiv... I helped them move to Cherkasy, where it's safer», says Mr. Yevhen. «My grandson was born there in June. A month later, I got a call from the hospital: the baby had developed kidney problems and was in intensive care, and his parents had left him. Why? Because they are irresponsible. I'm telling it like it is. Both my son and daughter-in-law. They both have a destructive addiction. It's a big problem, unfortunately...»
Fearing that the child left by his parents would be sent to an orphanage, Mr. Yevgen found a nanny who agreed to stay with the baby in the hospital for a month. He then took them to Kharkiv, rented a house, remained in service himself, and used his military pay to pay for housing and the nanny's work. He began the process of applying for guardianship. The process was complicated and lengthy, with the court considering the case for over six months, but the issue was finally resolved in favour of the grandfather.
Now, caring for his grandson takes up all of Yevhen's time and thoughts. When we talk about little Zhenya, a warm smile spreads across my interlocutor's face.
«What is he like? He's a curious boy. He likes different toys and is very energetic. He likes to draw, sculpt and embroider. He's a handsome, smart boy. I wanted to send him to dance and gymnastics classes, but they only accept children aged 5 and older. He needs to grow up a little. The hour and a half of classes here at the Centre help us a lot. The teachers, the psychologist, the speech therapist – they are all very attentive. My grandson receives the care of women here – something he is sorely lacking right now... And most importantly, the children are in a safe place, they have shelter. Kindergartens in Kharkiv are expensive, from 12 to 15 thousand a month, which not everyone can afford. I can't go to work because I'm always with my child. I have a pension, military payments, and a small social allowance from the state for my child, but I still don't have enough money. I buy fruit, sweets – everything he wants... It's not the child's fault that his parents are not around. They don't pay alimony, they don't help, I tried to keep in touch, but... Once a year they called to wish Zhenya a happy birthday. And that's it. Before, they at least asked for photos of their son, now they don't ask for anything. And they don't want to work. It's hard for me, of course. I had a small room in a dormitory. Then, as a veteran who had lost his home, I was given accommodation by the state. I added my own funds and bought a flat. We live there now».
When asked what gives him strength, Mr. Yevhen answers without hesitation: his grandson. Little Zhenya fills his grandfather's every day with real meaning. «Now I have someone to live for. I just want the war to end. I want our children to grow up under a peaceful sky. In peace and love».
The Kharkiv Family Support Centre was established as part of the project ‘Improving the quality and accessibility of psychological assistance to children and their families in the Kharkiv, Odesa, Zhytomyr and Kamianets-Podilskyi family support centres in Ukraine’. Caritas Spes Ukraine is implementing the project in cooperation with and thanks to the financial support of Caritas Polska.
We sincerely thank our partners for supporting this extremely important project.
