“Every moment of life is a great miracle...”
Christmas is a time of wish fulfillment and a sense of family. When we are together, we are not victorious, says Inna Polishchuk from Liubar in Zhytomyr region.
“Family to Family": indifference and understanding are the most valuable treasure
Inna was born and has lived almost all her life in the town of Liubar in the Zhytomyr region: except for two years when she worked as a saleswoman in Zhytomyr and four years when she was a florist in Kyiv. “I loved arranging and decorating bouquets, but then life happened so that I had to return home from the capital. And now we live together with my children and my father in our family home,” she says.
Inna is 36, her eldest daughter Anastasia is 13, and her youngest daughter Melania is almost five. “My younger daughter was born on Melanka's , January 13, so she chose her own guardian angel and name,” Inna smiles.
The girls are their mother's wings and support. “They are different: Nastia is modest, calm, delicate. She is a 'refined lady'. She was fond of playing the synthesizer, and now she likes to draw. And Melania is the exact opposite: mobile, active. Our little engine.”
The woman is raising her children alone. Although she says the girls' father supports the family, “he helps when I have to go to the hospital for a while.” For more than three years, Inna has been fighting a serious illness. She has undergone several courses of chemotherapy, surgery, and is now preparing for another course of treatment.
“This year, August and September were particularly difficult for us: my treatment, preparations for school and kindergarten... There are many financial expenses, and little income. Due to health problems, I cannot work yet. My dad is a pensioner, and even though he got a job, he is constantly short of money. So the help from the Family to Family project was like a breath of fresh air for us - timely and life-saving. In addition to the costs of treatment, clothing, and food, the project funds also helped us buy firewood for the winter and pay the utility bills. I don't know how we would have managed without this support...”
But it's not just the financial side of the aid that matters, Inna says. The moral aspect is no less important. “When our family was involved in the Family to Family project, i was touched to the core and incredibly grateful. Сarefulness, indifference in such difficult times as these is worth its weight in gold. When you know that someone cares and thinks about you, you feel more confident and calm. We are very grateful to Polish families and all compassionate people for supporting Ukrainians. For their big hearts and kindness.”
“This is not the kind of childhood we dreamed of for our children...”
War is exhausting - both physically and mentally. Air raids, shelling, fear... Blackouts. Uncertainty and constant worries.
“We have been living in war for almost three years. And while adults have somehow learned to cope with it, to restrain their emotions, it is incomparably difficult for children,” Inna sighs, ”Children react sharply to air raids... Children know what it is like to stand in human corridors when our defenders, our heroes, return home on a shield... I try to distract them from heavy thoughts. When there is an air raid and we are in a shelter or at home (according to the two-wall rule), I play “fingers” with the children, tell them fairy tales, and try to joke. I tell them: calm down, these explosions are just air defense, our soldiers are protecting us. But the children understand everything. The children grew up quickly. I remember how in the first year of the war, the enemy launched about 200 missiles at Ukraine in one day. I picked up Melania from kindergarten, went to school to pick up Anastasia, we were walking home quickly, and suddenly there were rockets above us. And I try to calm the girls down, tell them something extraneous, but they are so serious: “Mom, a cruise missile flew over us...”
When children hear explosions, they are very afraid. Once I came to pick up Melania from the kindergarten and the alarm started. The lights were turned off, the kids were sitting in a dark shelter, crying - both younger and older ones... This is not the kind of childhood we dreamed of for our children. Not like this...”
At the same time, the children feel responsible and involved in important things, Inna says. At school, Nastia and her friends weave camouflage nets for the frontline. Inna makes wax candles and souvenirs (recently they made booties for St. Nicholas). All of these are donated to a charity lottery, which raises money to support the soldiers of the Ukrainian Armed Forces.
“May the fire of the Christmas candle bring us hope for peace”
And despite everything, life goes on... Life in anticipation of changes for the better. And in anticipation of holidays, like this one.
Before Christmas, Inna and her children decorate the Christmas tree at home and prepare a nativity scene. On Christmas Eve, they light a candle and set the festive table. Inna prepares the dishes, following the traditions that her family has cherished for generations.
“Christmas is a special holiday for me,” she says, ”I remember this unique mood from my childhood. My grandmother used to make a nativity scene and involve us in the process. We would light a candle, put the little Jesus in the manger, and both children and adults would sing carols. As children, we were eager to sing carols. I remember how much I loved to come to a grandmother in our village to sing carols on Christmas. After our caroling, the grandmother would bring out a baking tray of delicious baked apples with honey and nuts and treat us to them. I still remember walking home with those apples, so happy...
On Christmas Eve, I now cook dumplings with cabbage, lean cabbage rolls, and fish. Just like my grandmother used to do. I also bake a grated cheese pie according to her recipe. And the first course, of course, is wheat kutia with honey, nuts, and cherries. I remember when my grandmother would bring the kutia into the room, we would sit at the table and moo like cows, squawk like chickens, and giggle like goslings. My grandmother used to say that when kutia was brought to the table, all the sounds of the household should be heard. It's a fabulous tradition. Magic...
Although I don't feel festive because of the war, I try to find reasons to be happy. I motivate my children to do so. We make a nativity scene, decorate the Christmas tree, and prepare a festive dinner. It may be a modest dinner, but it will be our festive table. Christmas is a feeling of being a united family at a common table.
What is my source of optimism? I told myself: I will live the time that God has given me on earth as the happiest person. I will smile and be happy. I stopped being afraid. And I really started to live. I try not to dwell on sad thoughts. I appreciate every moment.
What do I dream about? I dream of recovery. Do you believe that miracles happen at Christmas? Yes, definitely. In general, everything good that happens to us in life is a miracle. The fact that we wake up in the morning, that we are healthy, that we can communicate with good people, and do our work in peace is a miracle. New acquaintances, pleasant emotions are a miracle. In general, every minute of life is a miracle. And the most important thing in life is family. When we are together, we are invincible.
Yes, Christmas during the war... But carols must be sung. And Jesus will be in the manger, and Mary and Joseph will smile, and the traditions will be preserved... And they will be picked up by the next generations.
And I wish us all: may the Christmas candle bring peace and tranquility, and something so warm and unique. And faith in miracles.
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Children's dreams
“When I grow up, I want to be a psychologist,” says 13-year-old Anastasia, ”I dream of helping people in difficult situations. I know that many people today need such support. I will be a good psychologist.” When asked what her dream was, Melania hugged her mother and smiled: “I want to be with you!”
